Do you worry about what others think?

Chapter Forty:

If there is one universal problem that most of us struggle with at some point in time, it is worrying (sometimes too much) about what others think of us.  The advertisement industry has used this concern  for years in order to promote their products and it has worked.  Women, especially, spend millions of dollars annually on fashions and makeup, in order to fit in and feel accepted.  For some people it is a  problem that causes them to try to keep up with their friends or neighbors, but for others it is an overwhelming fear that causes them extreme distress and greatly interferes with their lives.  Some will go to the other extreme in order to deal with this, and act as if they do not care at all what others think of them, but it is simply a facade they are using. Either way we handle it, it is a result of being concerned too much about ourselves. Our focus is on us.

Scripture calls this concern of what others think as "the fear of man".  Proverbs 29:25 tells us that the "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the  Lord is kept safe".  We are afraid that if people really get to know us they would somehow expose us for the person we really are, or they will reject or ridicule us, or maybe even go so far as to threaten or attack us.

During the time of the New Testament there were several Pharisees that actually did believe Jesus was who He claimed to be. They quietly believed in him, believed He had been sent from God and that He was the Messiah.  But rather than stepping forward and joining Him, they feared confessing their faith in Him because of what others would think.  They allowed their concern over what others would think of them to overshadow what their hearts were telling them.  John 12:42,43 says, "for they loved praise from men more than praise from God." Sadly the acceptance we want to receive from others can be worth more to us than receiving God's acceptance.  In John 5:44 Jesus told the Jewish leaders, "How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?" We do not need to fear what others think of us...we should be more concerned about what God thinks of us!

An example of one who did not care what people thought about him was the Apostle Paul.  He handled himself as an imitator of Christ (First Corinthians 4:16), and was more interested in seeking the praise of God than of man.  Paul was not what we would call a people-pleaser, and because of this he did not act differently around others in order to fit in or be accepted, and he did not change the Gospel message to fit his audience. He was the same person to everyone, and everyone heard the exact same message of the Gospel.  He even indicated to the Galatians that if he were still trying to please men, he would not be a servant of God (Galatians 1:10). This is how serious he was about being who God had made him to be, and that he would not change for other people in order to be accepted by them.  His main objective in life was to be accepted by God, period.

If you look at your worrying about what others think of you from the perspective of being a disciple of Christ, how does it affect that? Does it hinder your ability to share the Gospel? Does it stop you from warning your friends when they are about to do something that is bad for them?  Does it hinder you from sharing your beliefs about certain topics? Does it stop you from just being able to be yourself?  

A. W. Tozer said, “Hardly anything else reveals so well the fear and uncertainty among men as the length to which they will go to hide their true selves from each other and even from their own eyes.”

So, how does one get past being afraid of what others think and become more concerned about what God thinks?  The answer is simple to say but can be very challenging to put into practice:  God must be bigger to you than your friends, your family or anyone else.  What He thinks of you must be much more important to you than what others think of you.  Ask the Lord to show you where you are spending too much time worrying about yourself and how you have allowed others to have too much say into your life.  

What relationships are important to you?   If your heart is truly focused on your relationship with God being the most important one in your life, even to the exclusion of all others, then what others think of you will become less and less important.   If you are truly focused on doing what the Lord wants, then what others think of you will fade into the background, and pleasing God will take center stage.

So the conclusion is that if you continue to worry about what other people think then the reason is your relationship with God is not yet strong enough so that you can ignore other peoples opinions.  You need to draw so close to Him that all other voices do not matter.  Do not expect to win this struggle over night.  It may take time and practice to put your worries aside so that you can focus only on what God thinks.  Other voices will continue to scream to get your attention, but in the end, is God not the one you really want to please and be close to?

 

Suffering and the believer...

Chapter Thirty-nine:

When we hear the term suffering, we often think of those who suffer from an illness or a tragedy that has befallen us.  If this type of suffering does occur, we want it to be over quickly so that we may resume our normal lives.  If our suffering is due to a tragedy of some type, we hope that there will be friends and family who will rally around us and help out by making us meals, or help with such things as housework or yard work. 

Then there is the suffering that happens in our lives simply because we are promoters of the Gospel.  I am sure we have read or heard of missionaries who had to endure much hardship and suffering attempting to promote the Gospel. First Peter 4:16 says, "If you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name."

 Any time we obey God it has the potential to cause us distress...not that we ourselves are physically distressed, but we can become distressed when we have to face the cost our decisions have on those around us. They may not understand what we are doing and that can cause us pain.  We feel torn between our love for them and our obedience to God. Unfortunately, many have disobeyed God and walked away from His calling on their life because they did not want to upset others or have others disapprove of them. These people end up living regretful lives, wondering how things would have been different had they obeyed God.

Suffering is a age old question that mankind has been struggling with for centuries. One of the most common questions people pose to followers of Christ is "why is there suffering...how can God allow such suffering in the world if He is loving and cares for us?"  The conclusion they draw about this question often lays the course for how they will choose to live their life.  Can they reconcile that suffering is a real thing in this life while at the same time believing that the God of the Holy Bible is a God of love?  As believers, many of us have come to understand through reading Scripture that suffering is a part of life.  We have read the story of Job who suffered tremendously, from seeing his loved ones die to dealing with physical torment himself.  We read of the ultimate story of suffering when we hear about our Lord Jesus Christ dying on the cross for our sins.  But how do we respond when suffering affects us personally?  

Unfortunately, suffering is just one of the many tools that God uses to do a work in His children.  I say "unfortunately" because that is how we as humans view it, but God views it entirely different.  He sees it as a necessity in our lives because He knows what it produces in us, what it works out of us and how it helps us to eventually become even more like Christ.  I would propose to you that suffering can be a good thing in our lives, even though our minds would disagree.  We read in I Peter 1:6,7 "In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."  

John Newton refers to this as being in the "furnace of affliction" and says, "The Lord is sitting by it as a refiner of silver, to moderate the fire, and manage the process, so that you shall lose nothing but dross (waste or impurities), and be brought forth as refined gold, to praise his name." Suffering often gives us the drive we need to press into God to help us get through the ordeal.

God also wants you to realize that turning to others for help is not the first thing you should be doing.   While it is easier, especially in this day and age of fast communication, to turn to a friend or a family member for help and consolation, He wants to be the one you turn to first.  And, sadly, you may find that others are not as comforting as you had hoped, or are at a loss, just as you are, as to why things are happening.  

I submit to you that while God does want to teach us, I believe there are times that He wants us to "unlearn" something we have incorporated into our lives.  It can be an erroneous teaching, an attitude we have adopted, or a way of living that is displeasing to Him or somehow hinders His work in our lives. For instance, if we have been raised in a church where we were taught that Christians should have no problems in life, God will try to make sure that we realize that we are simply being self-reliant and are of little use to Him. 

Second Corinthians 1:3-5 says, "  Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ."  How can you console another and offer them real comfort if you, yourself, do not know what it is like to need consolation and comfort? The lie that believers will live a problem-free life is one He needs to uncover and remove from you, or you will be of no use to Him and the Kingdom.

What if He wants you to suffer more than what you think is reasonable? Can you trust that He has your best interests at heart and that He has a purpose for it? What if you go through hardship and have no idea why it is happening?  It is often easier to face an ordeal when the "why's" have been answered to our satisfaction, but what if when you asked "Why, Lord?" you got no answer...would you be willing to endure even though you did not know why it was happening?

There are times when God allows us to suffer simply because He wants us to get alone with Him.  It is then that He can begin to teach us.  Oswald Chambers said, "As you journey with God, the only thing He intends to be clear is the way He deals with your soul. The sorrows and difficulties in the lives of others will be absolutely confusing to you.  We think we understand another person's struggle until God reveals the same shortcomings in our lives. There are vast areas of stubbornness and ignorance the Holy Spirit has to reveal in each of us, but it can only be done when Jesus gets us alone. Are we alone with Him now? Or are we more concerned with our own ideas, friendships, and cares for our bodies? Jesus cannot teach us anything until we quiet all our intellectual questions and get alone with Him."

God wants us to turn to Him when we feel we cannot endure another moment. He wants us to go to Him in our suffering. He desires to be the one that soothes us, that gives us solace. He wants us to learn, deep down, that He is the one we need to rely on. It can be hard to remember that God really loves us when we are in the midst of trouble. But, He does love us and He is waiting to show you. All you need to do is reach out to Him and ask Him to comfort you. He may not take away the trouble, but I have discovered that He will give you the comfort you need. Isaiah 41:10 says, " So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

 

Struggling with trials...

Chapter Thirty-eight:

Nobody likes to wake up and have a bad day.  And we certainly do not want those days to feel like they are never ending. If we all could have a choice, we would choose our days to be warm, cheery and full of joy.  Unfortunately life is not always like that.  There are a few people that live lives like that, but as believers and followers of Christ, we should not expect our lives to be trouble free.  In fact, because we are believers our lives will have its share of struggles and trials that others will not have to endure. 

Our trial will not be just over things that others worry about (i.e. finances, family, or employment), but it will be different. Jesus forewarned us many times that we would struggle because we are His followers. John 15:18 says, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first." Matthew 10:22 says, "You will be hated by all because of My name, but it is the one who has endured to the end who will be saved." John 16:33 warns us "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

A trial can come from many directions.  There are different types of trials that we may face.  It may be health issues, family concerns, or other situations that can ultimately lead to depression, anxiety and feeling overwhelmed to the point that you feel you cannot go on. They can also be the result of our making poor decisions or mistakes and we are reaping the consequences.  They can come from the enemy trying to get us off course.  Then, they can, unfortunately, come just because we are trying to live right and do the right thing as a follower of Christ...this is the type of trial that seems the most undeserving.  

None of us are going to escape trouble, and at some point in our lives we find ourselves caught in the proverbial storms of life.  Jesus' disciples learned this lesson the hard way. The Book of Luke tells us the story of a trial the disciples had to face and Jesus was even with them at the time. It occurred after Jesus had spoken to the crowd who had come to hear Him and listen to His parables.  Afterwards,  He told his disciples they were all going to get in their boat and go to the other side of the lake.  After they got in the boat, Jesus fell asleep.  It was after that a great squall appeared and the disciples feared the boat would soon capsize. They rushed over to Him, awoke Him, and He rebuked the wind and raging waters and all became calm.  Needless to say, the disciples were shocked.  Luke 8:25 says, "... In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.”  Graham Scroggie, a British pastor, said, "A storm with Christ is better than a calm without Him." 

If you are honest with yourself, have there been times when in the midst of a trial you have reacted in frustration and maybe even anger?  It is common for us to ask "Why me?...What did I do to deserve this?"  Just like the disciples in the boat with Jesus, it is easy to wonder "Why are you letting this happen?"  The disciples were still learning about Jesus, and even though they had been with him for some time, and had witnessed Him perform many miracles and healings, when the storm happened they fell into their natural, fleshly nature and started to panic and question what was happening. 

When we find ourselves in the midst of our trial, we need to remember Romans 8:28.  It is written in the Scriptures for a purpose...to remind us that, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." God's providence makes it mandatory that all things are working together, not only for our good, but for the good of this world that He created and is watching over. Everything that happens in our lives is for a great end and purpose.

God does nothing without reason. He knows that trials are difficult, and usually grievous, yet because of them we run to Him in prayer; in times of ease our prayer life is apt to be less often, less intense and we are likely to focus more on other things in our lives.   Trials help us to understand so much more of the Scriptures, especially the promises that God has given us and about the grace that He is waiting to extend to us.  His grace is so much sweeter during difficult times, because I doubt that we would even ponder the concept of grace if things were going well for us. It is in times of desperation and trouble that we can best grasp  the love and faithfulness of our Lord.  During a trial, do not allow yourself to become side tracked for things are not always as they seem!

Have there not been times in the past when you wondered how you would get through a trial, only to come out at the other end, wiser and more understanding of why it had to be?  And, admittedly, there will be those trials that we will never understand the reason this side of Heaven...this is where your faith and trust in your Heavenly Father has got to be secure and unshakeable.  Is He possibly using this current trial to test your faith and trust in Him?  Maybe He is trying to strengthen it so that when mightier trials come your way that you will be ready and will deal with them in a way that surprises even you.

 

Charles Spurgeon wrote "God does not put heavy burdens on weak shoulders.  God educates and tests our faith by trials that increase in proportion to our faith.  God expects us to do adult work and to endure adult affliction only after we have reached a mature status in Christ Jesus.  Therefore, beloved, expect your trials to multiply as you proceed toward Heaven.  Do you think that as you grow in grace your path will become smoother and the sky calmer and clearer.  Quite the contrary.  As God gives you greater skill as a soldier of the cross, He will send you on more difficult missions.  As He fully equips your ship to sail in storms, He will send you on longer voyages to more boisterous seas, so that you may honor Him and increase in Holy confidence...You must still wear the helmet and carry the sword.  You must watch, pray, and fight.  Expect your last battle to be the most difficult, for the enemy's fiercest charge is reserved for the end of the day."

If you look back at the greatest saints ever used by God, they did not simply go through life without problems...in fact, most, if not all of them, endured and suffered greatly while here on earth.  I believe it is wrong for us to teach today's generation that we are somehow different from those who went before us and that we do not need to be subjected to such trials as they.  God is no respecter of persons.  This means He does not favor one person more than another.  He does not love one person more than another.  In fact, He did not love someone like the Apostle Paul more than He does you or me. He loves us all equally!  However, He does deal with each one of us differently in our daily lives, as His ultimate goal for every believer, past, present and those who will follow us is to prepare us all for Heaven by our becoming more like Christ.   

God does not have a different set of rules depending upon your denominational or congregational beliefs.  His words are written forever in the Holy Bible and they do not change, regardless of man's interpretation of them.  Just as He is the same yesterday, today and forever, so are the Scriptures. You may find it disheartening to know that trials are a part of being a believer.  Do not let it discourage you but let it be a reminder and encouragement to you of how God uses things in this life to bring us closer to becoming like Christ...and, really, is not that God's ultimate purpose for our life? 

I have to admit that situations have not always turned out the way I wished and I have been ashamed of myself as to how I handled myself when in the midst of a trial. One thing I have learned, however, is that instead of calming the storm going on around me, God usually calms the storm within me.  And that is something that no words can explain and has got to be experienced, personally, in order for you to understand.