Do you worry about what others think?

Chapter Forty:

If there is one universal problem that most of us struggle with at some point in time, it is worrying (sometimes too much) about what others think of us.  The advertisement industry has used this concern  for years in order to promote their products and it has worked.  Women, especially, spend millions of dollars annually on fashions and makeup, in order to fit in and feel accepted.  For some people it is a  problem that causes them to try to keep up with their friends or neighbors, but for others it is an overwhelming fear that causes them extreme distress and greatly interferes with their lives.  Some will go to the other extreme in order to deal with this, and act as if they do not care at all what others think of them, but it is simply a facade they are using. Either way we handle it, it is a result of being concerned too much about ourselves. Our focus is on us.

Scripture calls this concern of what others think as "the fear of man".  Proverbs 29:25 tells us that the "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the  Lord is kept safe".  We are afraid that if people really get to know us they would somehow expose us for the person we really are, or they will reject or ridicule us, or maybe even go so far as to threaten or attack us.

During the time of the New Testament there were several Pharisees that actually did believe Jesus was who He claimed to be. They quietly believed in him, believed He had been sent from God and that He was the Messiah.  But rather than stepping forward and joining Him, they feared confessing their faith in Him because of what others would think.  They allowed their concern over what others would think of them to overshadow what their hearts were telling them.  John 12:42,43 says, "for they loved praise from men more than praise from God." Sadly the acceptance we want to receive from others can be worth more to us than receiving God's acceptance.  In John 5:44 Jesus told the Jewish leaders, "How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?" We do not need to fear what others think of us...we should be more concerned about what God thinks of us!

An example of one who did not care what people thought about him was the Apostle Paul.  He handled himself as an imitator of Christ (First Corinthians 4:16), and was more interested in seeking the praise of God than of man.  Paul was not what we would call a people-pleaser, and because of this he did not act differently around others in order to fit in or be accepted, and he did not change the Gospel message to fit his audience. He was the same person to everyone, and everyone heard the exact same message of the Gospel.  He even indicated to the Galatians that if he were still trying to please men, he would not be a servant of God (Galatians 1:10). This is how serious he was about being who God had made him to be, and that he would not change for other people in order to be accepted by them.  His main objective in life was to be accepted by God, period.

If you look at your worrying about what others think of you from the perspective of being a disciple of Christ, how does it affect that? Does it hinder your ability to share the Gospel? Does it stop you from warning your friends when they are about to do something that is bad for them?  Does it hinder you from sharing your beliefs about certain topics? Does it stop you from just being able to be yourself?  

A. W. Tozer said, “Hardly anything else reveals so well the fear and uncertainty among men as the length to which they will go to hide their true selves from each other and even from their own eyes.”

So, how does one get past being afraid of what others think and become more concerned about what God thinks?  The answer is simple to say but can be very challenging to put into practice:  God must be bigger to you than your friends, your family or anyone else.  What He thinks of you must be much more important to you than what others think of you.  Ask the Lord to show you where you are spending too much time worrying about yourself and how you have allowed others to have too much say into your life.  

What relationships are important to you?   If your heart is truly focused on your relationship with God being the most important one in your life, even to the exclusion of all others, then what others think of you will become less and less important.   If you are truly focused on doing what the Lord wants, then what others think of you will fade into the background, and pleasing God will take center stage.

So the conclusion is that if you continue to worry about what other people think then the reason is your relationship with God is not yet strong enough so that you can ignore other peoples opinions.  You need to draw so close to Him that all other voices do not matter.  Do not expect to win this struggle over night.  It may take time and practice to put your worries aside so that you can focus only on what God thinks.  Other voices will continue to scream to get your attention, but in the end, is God not the one you really want to please and be close to?