Dealing with disappointments

Chapter Thirty-four:

 In your walk with God there will be many challenges.  Some will be put there by God in order to cause you to grow in your relationship with Him and prepare you for what He wants you to do.   Other challenges may come from those who do not agree with what you are doing and think you should do things differently. Also, Satan will do his utmost to stop you from doing God's will.  It is at this point that you will have a serious decision to make...are you going to continue and press in and do what you believe you are supposed to do, or are you going to allow setbacks to stop you from achieving what God has for you and just simply give up and walk away.

Most believers want to be used by God.  We want to be used to help the Kingdom and we often have our own ideas of how we can bring that about.  When we come to realize that things are not going the way we had hoped, we often become disillusioned and disappointed. We feel that we are not being a  pillar of strength for God.  If we are not prepared, those challenges can quickly change to disappointment and for some, resentment, from which they never recover.  We will struggle with disappointment that things are not progressing as quickly as we would like.  We will feel disappointment that we are not already doing what we feel God has called us to do.  Disappointment can even be directed towards other people as they often seem to be the cause of the roadblocks with which we struggle, and we see them as being the ones holding us back. Pride says my plans are right and we have a difficult time walking away from them. 

If you feel that others have blocked your attempts, you may need to forgive those whom you feel have thwarted your plans.  If not, anger can lead to bitterness and resentment, which  can easily set in and affect your relationship with them.  But more importantly, if you do become bitter and do not forgive the person, it will most certainly affect your relationship with God.  If this has happened, you need to confess your sin of pride and bitterness before God.

I believe the hardest part for us to deal with is when we feel that the Lord, Himself, is the one frustrating our plans.  It is a natural thing for people to wish and plan, and it can seem cruel when the Lord disappoints our plans, especially if we believe He has laid them on our hearts to fulfill to begin with.  Often our way of doing things seems to make sense to us and we cannot understand why we are being held back.  We keep trying, only to be knocked back down. And this is when frustration can set in.

 It is hard to understand that when the Lord halts our plans that He is being merciful. Our first instinct is to question Him and if that does not change things, then we try other avenues to reach our desired goal.  We delude ourselves, however, thinking we can work around God without His knowing what we are doing. While what you feel you are to do is valid and God may have very well put it upon your heart to do, it may be the wrong timing.  God knows that if we are not totally submitted to His will, we will neither be ready nor strong enough for the task.  

 The difficult task that immediately lies ahead of us is our being willing to give up our own plans, our own will, for His.  Many who have gone before us and accomplished great things for God have had to go through what I call "the school of disappointment".  When they have gone through this school and graduated into the realization that His way actually is the best way, then He can do more for them than they could have planned themselves. As a good friend of mine recently reminded me, nothing great ever gets done for God without a lot of sacrifice on our part.  The question is, are we willing to make that sacrifice?

In looking back, it has hard to recollect a plan of my own making that has worked out as I had thought.  It seemed a good idea, it seemed a worthy goal for God, and I had the earnest zeal to pursue it.  But God would often put a stop to it somehow...this was very confusing to me.  What I did not realize at the time is that it was not the right time or season for me to pursue it, and would have been my ruin, or would have at least deprived me of the better plan the Lord had in mind. We tend to look at things as they are, today, where God looks at things long range.  It is actually His love that stops us from getting ahead of Him. Job 23:14 says, "For he will complete what he appoints for me, and many such things are in his mind."

It is during this time that our trust of Him is put to its ultimate test.  Do we really trust God to work things out in the right time or do we continually struggle with Him? While we may not realize it, God is being very patient with us and understands our frustration and impatience. An example I read once of this is the blind man who depends upon his friend to help him, but argues with him at the same time on which way to turn, which way to go and how to do things.   This friend would soon become tired of trying to help us and would be tempted to leave us to our own devices.  But our Lord will not do that to us, no matter how much we complain and mutter.  He is long suffering and full of compassion and puts up with our temper tantrums and complaints. 

However, do not expect Him to sit back and not address our challenge to His will.  He will allow us to become confused and bewildered in order to humble us, to bring us to the point where we have no choice but to say we are totally dependent upon Him.  The unexpected benefit of this, and the goal He has for us to reach, is that our will finally comes into compliance with His.  And when we reach this point, the disappointment we struggle with will dissipate as we know we are in His perfect will.  As John Newton said, "So far as we attain to this, we are out of the reach of disappointment; for when the will of God can please us, we shall be pleased every day, and from morning to night...".  

There is a poem that I read many years ago by Edith Lillian Young that I often think of:

Disappointment -- His Appointment
Change one letter, then I see
That the thwarting of my purpose
Is God's better choice for me.
His appointment must be blessing,
Tho' it may come in disguise,
For the end from the beginning
  Open to His wisdom lies. 

Disappointment -- His Appointment
Whose?  The Lord, who loves me best,
Understands and knows me fully,
Who my faith and love would test;
For, like loving earthly parent,
He rejoices when He knows
That His child accepts, UNQUESTIONED,
All that from His wisdom flows.

Disappointment -- His Appointment
No good thing will He withhold,
From denials oft we gather
Treasures of His love untold,
Well He knows each broken purpose
Leads to fuller, deeper trust,
And the end of all His dealings
Proves our God is wise and just.

Disappointment -- His Appointment
Lord, I take it, then, as such.
Like the clay in hands of potter,
Yielding wholly to Thy touch.
All my life's plan in Thy moulding,
Not one single choice be mine;
Let me answer, unrepining --
Father, not my will, but Thine.

 Go to God and tell Him of your struggle. Make the decision to do His will and put yours aside. Then, expect that He will direct you. Do not ask God to change your opinion but ask Him to make your opinion conform to His. We must trust God or we lose hope. When we lose our hope we seem to be walking in darkness.  We become overtaken by doubts and fears. You may even find yourself in a state of anxiety or distress.  This world has nothing to offer... only God can offer you comfort. 

Remind yourself of all the times He has brought you through things in the past and dwell on those! Has God not met previous needs and requests? So, why do you feel He will not this time? God never changes and His plans for you do not change...it is just the timing or the way He wants to bring things about that may be different than what you had expected or hoped.  Rejoice in God's faithfulness. He has not deserted you...He is working in your life, even if you do not understand how. 

Psalm 27:9 says, "You have been my help; do not leave me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation." God will never desert you or leave you, even though it may feel like it.  Isaiah 26:4 encourages us to "Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal."
    

 

Have you reached a place of surrender?

Chapter Thirty-three:

When we hear the word "surrender" we often think of losing to an opponent, begrudgingly giving in or giving up.  It is a word that has a negative connotation to it, and none of us want to feel like we have been outdone or have lost to another.  In fact, our nature is to fight and not let another win or have control over us. Webster's dictionary describes surrendering as "to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand; to give (oneself) up into the power of another, especially as a prisoner." That is definitely not something that we would willingly want to do.

However, as a believer and follower of Christ, the term surrender takes on a totally different meaning. It means less of surrendering and more of finally submitting all to God...we submit our plans, our hopes, and our dreams to Him. Even the word "submission" can have a negative meaning for some.  We pride ourselves on our independence and the idea of submitting to another, even God, can be a real struggle.   

We can be quick to say we agree with and identify with Galatians 2:20 which says, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." But are we being honest with ourselves?  I know in my own walk it took many struggles for me to finally get past my own way of wanting to do things and finally reach the point of surrendering all. God has had to allow many problems in my life to occur in order to break through my stubbornness and self determination as I believed I was already doing what I thought God wanted me to do.  Now, looking back, I realize God was being patient with me and waiting until I got to the point where, exhausted and tired of trying to make things happen, I finally gave up and gave in. My words said I wanted to be used by Him,  but my actions showed otherwise. 

As long as I had my own interests and ambitions, however noble for the Kingdom they seemed to be, I was not able to be in tune with God's real plan for my life.  My own desires on how I wanted to be used, my will and my pride kept me going in the wrong direction. I can now honestly say that since I have surrendered my will to His I am far happier and more content because I am finally doing what I was originally meant to do. And, surprisingly, it is not what I thought I would be doing.  God had to break through my independence, and looking back, I sadly realize that I could have reached this point a lot sooner.

God can bring you up to this point, also, but He cannot and will not force you to surrender. It has to come from within you, and if that means breaking the hard layers of self reliance you have built around yourself then you will probably go through many times of frustration and confusion. We have to reach the point where we are willing to sign away our rights in order to become a true servant of Christ. 

Jeremiah 29:11-14 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity."

When we surrender, it does not mean we give up who we are, our personalities or our talents/gifts.  God created us with those in us from the very moment we were conceived.  He means for those to be used for His glory and wants us to use them, but in the right way. He does not want us to be robots who succumb to His every wish, He simply wants us to willingly follow what He has in mind for our lives.  It is when we refuse to surrender to His will that we are led astray and get off into areas that can be difficult to return from and can harm us during the process.

We read in the book of James 4:7, "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you". When we read this we usually focus on it being a Scripture that helps us fight against attacks of the enemy.  I suggest that we consider it from another viewpoint.  God is asking us to submit to Him, in the context of surrendering to Him.  I believe that if we are totally surrendered to God then we will be stronger and more able to resist the devil and he will have to flee.  

Romans 12: 1 says: "I beseech you therefore brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service." God is asking us here to give up the right to ourselves and give Him the right to ourselves. When we give ourselves totally to God we will discover that He can and will work through us in amazing ways. His Spirit will be able to burst forth from us in a way that can never happen if we choose to hold on to any part of us so we can keep it unsurrendered. Why is it that we are willing to surrender in some areas of our lives and other areas are a major effort to give over to Him?  Do we stubbornly want to hold on to some degree of self reliance and independence? 

One of the main hindrances that stop us from totally surrendering to God is our disagreeing with Him over what we feel we should be doing for the Kingdom.  We may not even realize that we are in disagreement with Him, we simply presume that something is stopping us from reaching that goal when in reality it is God that is stopping us.  We often approach things with preconceived ideas of what God wants us to do when we really have not been in prayer long enough to find out if it really is His will.

What we would consider as having done a reasonable amount of work for God's Kingdom could actually stop us from total surrender.  We can feel we have done quite a bit for the Kingdom, but do not allow that to fool you into thinking that you are totally surrendered to God and His call on your life.  We allow our own decisions, and what we have done, to be our guide rather than having God be our guide. Total surrender to God is something that has to happen internally and is something that forever changes you.  

One of the most precious times in our lives is when we finally come to realize that we cannot figure it all out.  While it goes against our desire for self reliance and feeling that we are right (which can be pride in disguise), it brings comfort and rest knowing that God is in total control. It is a hard place to be when we are forced to come face to face with those hidden areas of our lives that still exist and it is at that time we must choose...self reliance or total surrender. Matthew 16:26 says, "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it."  Losing our life sounds scary as we do not really know what that means or where it will lead us, but it does force us to come to terms with just how much we  trust God.  Do we trust Him enough to obey Him, regardless of what we think may happen or what we hope will happen? 

I recently came across a poem posted on the internet, written by Adam Herring:

"Here I am, standing on the edge.
I can't make it alone anymore.
I fall to my knees,
Lord, I give up. Forgive me.
I've come to the place,
Where you are is what I need.
I have no one to blame.
I give up, take away these sins.
Too long the road I've walked,
Carrying in my heart,
Those things I should cast aside.
This is where I give up.
Here I am, waiting for your love;
Waiting for your embrace,
Giving my soul and might to you.
Forgive me."

Oswald Chambers said in reference to Philippians 1:20, "It's as if Paul were saying 'My determined purpose is to be my utmost for His highest--my best for His glory.' To reach that level of determination is a matter of the will, not of debate or of reasoning.  It is absolute and irrevocable surrender of the will at that point.  An undue amount of thought and consideration for ourselves is what keeps us from making that decision, although we cover it up with the pretense that it is others we are considering.  

When we think seriously about what it will cost others if we obey the call of Jesus, we tell God He doesn't know what our obedience will mean.  Keep to the point--He does know.  Shut out every other thought and keep yourself before God in this one thing only--my utmost for His highest.  I am determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and Him alone." He goes on to say, "If we are truly surrendered, we will never be aware of our own efforts to remain surrendered. Our entire life will be consumed with the One to whom we surrender. The consequences and circumstances resulting from our surrender will never even enter our mind, because our life will be totally consumed by Him."