Dealing with disappointments

Chapter Thirty-four:

 In your walk with God there will be many challenges.  Some will be put there by God in order to cause you to grow in your relationship with Him and prepare you for what He wants you to do.   Other challenges may come from those who do not agree with what you are doing and think you should do things differently. Also, Satan will do his utmost to stop you from doing God's will.  It is at this point that you will have a serious decision to make...are you going to continue and press in and do what you believe you are supposed to do, or are you going to allow setbacks to stop you from achieving what God has for you and just simply give up and walk away.

Most believers want to be used by God.  We want to be used to help the Kingdom and we often have our own ideas of how we can bring that about.  When we come to realize that things are not going the way we had hoped, we often become disillusioned and disappointed. We feel that we are not being a  pillar of strength for God.  If we are not prepared, those challenges can quickly change to disappointment and for some, resentment, from which they never recover.  We will struggle with disappointment that things are not progressing as quickly as we would like.  We will feel disappointment that we are not already doing what we feel God has called us to do.  Disappointment can even be directed towards other people as they often seem to be the cause of the roadblocks with which we struggle, and we see them as being the ones holding us back. Pride says my plans are right and we have a difficult time walking away from them. 

If you feel that others have blocked your attempts, you may need to forgive those whom you feel have thwarted your plans.  If not, anger can lead to bitterness and resentment, which  can easily set in and affect your relationship with them.  But more importantly, if you do become bitter and do not forgive the person, it will most certainly affect your relationship with God.  If this has happened, you need to confess your sin of pride and bitterness before God.

I believe the hardest part for us to deal with is when we feel that the Lord, Himself, is the one frustrating our plans.  It is a natural thing for people to wish and plan, and it can seem cruel when the Lord disappoints our plans, especially if we believe He has laid them on our hearts to fulfill to begin with.  Often our way of doing things seems to make sense to us and we cannot understand why we are being held back.  We keep trying, only to be knocked back down. And this is when frustration can set in.

 It is hard to understand that when the Lord halts our plans that He is being merciful. Our first instinct is to question Him and if that does not change things, then we try other avenues to reach our desired goal.  We delude ourselves, however, thinking we can work around God without His knowing what we are doing. While what you feel you are to do is valid and God may have very well put it upon your heart to do, it may be the wrong timing.  God knows that if we are not totally submitted to His will, we will neither be ready nor strong enough for the task.  

 The difficult task that immediately lies ahead of us is our being willing to give up our own plans, our own will, for His.  Many who have gone before us and accomplished great things for God have had to go through what I call "the school of disappointment".  When they have gone through this school and graduated into the realization that His way actually is the best way, then He can do more for them than they could have planned themselves. As a good friend of mine recently reminded me, nothing great ever gets done for God without a lot of sacrifice on our part.  The question is, are we willing to make that sacrifice?

In looking back, it has hard to recollect a plan of my own making that has worked out as I had thought.  It seemed a good idea, it seemed a worthy goal for God, and I had the earnest zeal to pursue it.  But God would often put a stop to it somehow...this was very confusing to me.  What I did not realize at the time is that it was not the right time or season for me to pursue it, and would have been my ruin, or would have at least deprived me of the better plan the Lord had in mind. We tend to look at things as they are, today, where God looks at things long range.  It is actually His love that stops us from getting ahead of Him. Job 23:14 says, "For he will complete what he appoints for me, and many such things are in his mind."

It is during this time that our trust of Him is put to its ultimate test.  Do we really trust God to work things out in the right time or do we continually struggle with Him? While we may not realize it, God is being very patient with us and understands our frustration and impatience. An example I read once of this is the blind man who depends upon his friend to help him, but argues with him at the same time on which way to turn, which way to go and how to do things.   This friend would soon become tired of trying to help us and would be tempted to leave us to our own devices.  But our Lord will not do that to us, no matter how much we complain and mutter.  He is long suffering and full of compassion and puts up with our temper tantrums and complaints. 

However, do not expect Him to sit back and not address our challenge to His will.  He will allow us to become confused and bewildered in order to humble us, to bring us to the point where we have no choice but to say we are totally dependent upon Him.  The unexpected benefit of this, and the goal He has for us to reach, is that our will finally comes into compliance with His.  And when we reach this point, the disappointment we struggle with will dissipate as we know we are in His perfect will.  As John Newton said, "So far as we attain to this, we are out of the reach of disappointment; for when the will of God can please us, we shall be pleased every day, and from morning to night...".  

There is a poem that I read many years ago by Edith Lillian Young that I often think of:

Disappointment -- His Appointment
Change one letter, then I see
That the thwarting of my purpose
Is God's better choice for me.
His appointment must be blessing,
Tho' it may come in disguise,
For the end from the beginning
  Open to His wisdom lies. 

Disappointment -- His Appointment
Whose?  The Lord, who loves me best,
Understands and knows me fully,
Who my faith and love would test;
For, like loving earthly parent,
He rejoices when He knows
That His child accepts, UNQUESTIONED,
All that from His wisdom flows.

Disappointment -- His Appointment
No good thing will He withhold,
From denials oft we gather
Treasures of His love untold,
Well He knows each broken purpose
Leads to fuller, deeper trust,
And the end of all His dealings
Proves our God is wise and just.

Disappointment -- His Appointment
Lord, I take it, then, as such.
Like the clay in hands of potter,
Yielding wholly to Thy touch.
All my life's plan in Thy moulding,
Not one single choice be mine;
Let me answer, unrepining --
Father, not my will, but Thine.

 Go to God and tell Him of your struggle. Make the decision to do His will and put yours aside. Then, expect that He will direct you. Do not ask God to change your opinion but ask Him to make your opinion conform to His. We must trust God or we lose hope. When we lose our hope we seem to be walking in darkness.  We become overtaken by doubts and fears. You may even find yourself in a state of anxiety or distress.  This world has nothing to offer... only God can offer you comfort. 

Remind yourself of all the times He has brought you through things in the past and dwell on those! Has God not met previous needs and requests? So, why do you feel He will not this time? God never changes and His plans for you do not change...it is just the timing or the way He wants to bring things about that may be different than what you had expected or hoped.  Rejoice in God's faithfulness. He has not deserted you...He is working in your life, even if you do not understand how. 

Psalm 27:9 says, "You have been my help; do not leave me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation." God will never desert you or leave you, even though it may feel like it.  Isaiah 26:4 encourages us to "Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal."