Confronting sin in another...

Chapter Forty-three:

One of the most difficult things to do as a Christian is to approach a brother/sister in Christ whom we believe has fallen into some type of sin.  We struggle with what to say, how to say it and even if it is any of our business to begin with.  We are often reluctant to say anything. 

The Bible is plain in the fact that we are to act, and that we must act, otherwise we are not doing our duty.  Scripture tells us that as Christians we are obligated to speak to them in the hope that they will realize the foolishness of what they are doing, repent of their behavior and be restored to their walk with Christ.  Galatians 6:1 says, "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently...". Verse two goes on to say, "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." The goal of confronting sin in another is restoration, not fault-finding or  belittling another. And, it is not to be used as an excuse to go after another about things that are considered "gray areas" in the Bible that you and they disagree over (ie, what is ok to eat, whether we need to go to church on Wednesday evening). What we're talking about is clear wrong doing as is denounced in Scripture--from fornication to lying to adultery to stealing, etc..  So how does one approach their brother/sister?

In the spirit of restoring another to their walk with Christ and getting them away from their sinful behavior, one must show love and compassion.  It is not to become a heated argument or unfriendly debate.  If it helps, keep in mind that you will not be the first, or the last person, who will need to help a fallen brother/sister.  And, you, yourself may need someone to approach you if you ever stray into sin. 

 The Apostle Paul was considered by many as being a great restorer in that he wrote many letters to clear up problems in the churches that he started.  Jesus often told those who would listen, even his disciples, about the need to repent of their sin.  And many listened and repented. James 5:20 tells us that "Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins."  

I believe Jesus' manner of approaching the sinner was very careful.  I believe He approached a person who was caught up in sin in a very caring, compassionate manner, while gently rebuking them for their behavior.  A rebuke does not need to be harsh or critical.  Rebuking someone simply means that you are informing them that they need to correct or change their behavior.  Your desire is to bring them back into fellowship with Christ and to restore his/her effectiveness for the Kingdom.

Unfortunately, in this day we are very leery of approaching one another when we feel our brother/sister is involved in something that is not right.  Some that we try to approach will use Scripture to justify their behavior and tell us that we have no right to judge them.  The most common one was mentioned in the last chapter, which is Matthew 7:4-5 which says, "How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." This Scripture is also telling us that before we can judge another we must make sure we do not have  sin in our own lives that is unconfessed, for if we do, we should not judge another. Before we do, we need to make sure that we have a clear conscience and have repented of our own sins before God. Then we can go to another and try to restore them to fellowship with Christ. And most importantly, make sure that you, yourself, do not confront someone about a sin when you have the same problem as you may get caught up in the temptation to sin yourself. If you have that same issue, another needs to go in your place.

Second Timothy 2:24 reminds us that we  need to make sure that we approach the person with the right attitude.  It says, "And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach and not resentful". Our job is simply to help our brother/sister realize their need to repent in the hope that they will come to their senses, and escape the trap of the devil who has deluded them, so that they will return as followers of Christ.

Jesus gave instructions on how to bring about restoration when you feel you have been sinned against.  Matthew 18:15-17 says, "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.  If he listens to you, you have won your brother over." Note that it is to be done in private and with compassion. Do not be afraid to pour out your heart about your concerns and cares for him/her. Often it is our fervency, our caring,  and our pleading that restores our brother/sister because they see that we care and that we are not there to judge them. Go in a spirit of humility, knowing that it is only by the grace of God that you do not struggle with the same issue.

But what do you do if he/she will not listen or has no desire to repent?  That is where Jesus set out a different process. Matthew 18:16,17 tells us that we are to take a second and maybe a third, impartial observer along with us as we speak to the person a second time. The observers are not to take sides, but are there to hear what is presented by both you and the one you are trying to restore. Then, if the sinning person still will not listen, you are to take it to the church body in the hopes that as a group you can help restore the person.  If the person continues to refuse to change their behavior, then the church is to look upon that person as an unbeliever.  This does not mean that we become mean or hateful, it simply means that we do not recognize that person as a disciple or follower of Christ any longer and treat him/her as any other unbeliever.  He/she loses the privileges that go along with being a believer, such as being able to take communion, holding a position of leadership or retaining church membership.  He/she is still allowed to attend church services if they so desire.

Unfortunately, Second Timothy 3: 1-5 warns us that despite our trying to warn the person, the person may choose to continue to live the way they are.  We are not to take this as a sign that we have failed, but rather they have chosen to continue to disobey God. We need to continue to pray and fast for our brother/sister in Christ in the hope that the Holy Spirit will eventually draw them back to a right relationship with God.

Is it correct to judge?

Chapter Forty-two: 

Many believers struggle with the question of whether it is appropriate or even correct to judge,  especially in today's society where we are encouraged to be tolerant of others and their beliefs.  Even in church, we are often told not to question what we are taught and to accept it as being from God. However, Scripture gives us several reasons why we need to judge.

First, it is so that we are not deceived. In Matthew 7:15,16 we are told, "Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.  You shall know them by their fruits." How can we discern that they are false prophets if we do not judge? Unfortunately, many believers have become lazy and do not compare what they are taught with what is written in the Bible to see if it agrees.  They simply take it as truth and can be unknowingly led astray by their willingness to accept whatever is taught to them. A. W. Tozer said, "I am a Bible Christian and if an archangel with a wingspread as broad as a constellation shining like the sun were to come and offer me some new truth, I'd ask him for a reference. If he could not show me where it is found in the Bible, I would bow him out and say, I'm awfully sorry, you don't bring any references with you."

 

The Apostle Paul tells us in First Corinthians 10:15 "I speak as to wise men; judge what I say."  He was telling the Corinthians that they needed to judge what he was saying and not just take it at face value. Considering that Paul was one of the Gospel's great advocates and promoters, one would wonder why he would tell his listeners to judge him.  Was he not a great man of God...who had the right to judge him? Would you have felt comfortable judging what he was saying?  He was warning the Corinthians that even though he presented himself as God's messenger, it was their duty to judge everything he told them.  In First Corinthians 2:15 he said, "He that is spiritual judges all things." He was reaffirming that it is not only our duty to judge, but it is also necessary that we judge otherwise we could be fooled or deceived.  

Second, when it says in James 4:11-12, "Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?", it is referring to a fleshly attitude of fault finding and saying untrue things against another.  It is not referring to testing whether what you are hearing agrees with God's Word.

In First Corinthians, Chapter Five, we read the story of a man who is having immoral sexual relations with his father's wife.  This is a case where Paul writes and tells the church body that rather than allowing it, they should have been "filled with grief and have put out of your fellowship the man who did this." He goes on to say in verse 5, "Even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. And I have already passed judgment on the one who did this, just as if I were present." Paul knew that their overlooking this sin in their midst would not only affect the rest of the body of Christ, but would allow them to begin to overlook other sins as they sprang up.

Third, there will be disagreements between Christians about everyday things in life.  First Corinthians 6:1 says, "If any of you has a dispute, dare he take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints?" Paul is telling them that rather than taking the matter before a secular court, the matter should first be taken before a group of fellow Christians in order to try to settle the dispute.

Fourth, we are to judge ourselves. Second Corinthians 13:5 says, "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves." First Corinthians 11:31-32, says, "But if we judged ourselves, we would not come under judgment. When we are judged by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be condemned with the world." We are being admonished to judge ourselves because if we fail to do so, our Heavenly Father will discipline us, out of love, so that we get back on the right track.

Unfortunately, one of the most misunderstood Scriptures is Matthew 7:1-5 which says, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." If we read these verses in context, we can see Jesus was speaking to someone who was being hypocritical and not to one who was sincerely wanting to discern whether something they were being taught was true or false.  It is not a warning against honestly wanting to judge something, it is a warning against being a hypocrite when you say something to or about another.

We are told in First Peter 4:8 how to talk to the person.  It says, ^"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." We are to have an attitude of love when we approach the person.  Be prepared, however, because rather than listening and considering what is being brought to their attention, he/she may use the "judge not" phrase to deflect what you are saying, even though you may have a very legitimate reason for bringing it to their attention. Remember, anyone can take a Scripture in the Bible and use it out of context in order to suit their own needs, to cover up their sinful life or promote the false teachings they are following.  No matter what, remember to speak the truth in love, in the hope that he/she will at least consider what you are saying.

Please note that there are times when it is not appropriate to judge another.   We are given several examples of those times in Scripture. Colossians 2:16-17 says, "Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day.  These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ." First Corinthians 10:23-33 tells of the freedom we have as believers.  During this time some were saying it was wrong to eat certain foods, or eat something that had been previously offered in sacrifice.  This passage tells us that as believers we are allowed to eat it, but that we should be aware of whether it offends our brother/sister in Christ and, if so, to abstain.  Verse 32 tells us, "Do not cause anyone to stumble...".  We are to honor their convictions so as to not cause them distress or difficulties in their walk with the Lord.

We are also not to judge another's motives, because only the Lord knows a person's motives.  God will judge the intent or motivation of man.  Romans 2:16 says, "This will take place on the day when God judges people’s secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares."   We can talk to them about the results of their behavior, or the words that they are speaking if they go against the Scriptures, but we must be cautious in judging their motives...unless we know for sure that they are willingly involved in something that is deceptive, sinful or manipulative and they do not want to repent or renounce it.  Ask the Holy Spirit for discernment when you are in a situation like this and He will show you how to handle the situation.  And, if you are still unsure, go to a believer who is more mature than you and seek their advice.

Galatians 6:1 tells us, "Brother, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you may also be tempted." Scripture is warning us that we need to guard against our own fleshly nature that wants to be fault-finding with our brothers/sisters in Christ.  This is one area that the enemy loves to cause trouble.  We are told to judge, in order to bring restoration to another or to shine the light on those who promote erroneous teaching.  We are not to use our mandate for judging to attack another or be vindictive.  We are not to act out of a critical and judgmental spirit, or act as if we are morally superior. We must be very careful, and prayerful, when we are judging something or someone so that we are doing it correctly, and in a spirit of love and truth.