Confronting sin in another...

Chapter Forty-three:

One of the most difficult things to do as a Christian is to approach a brother/sister in Christ whom we believe has fallen into some type of sin.  We struggle with what to say, how to say it and even if it is any of our business to begin with.  We are often reluctant to say anything. 

The Bible is plain in the fact that we are to act, and that we must act, otherwise we are not doing our duty.  Scripture tells us that as Christians we are obligated to speak to them in the hope that they will realize the foolishness of what they are doing, repent of their behavior and be restored to their walk with Christ.  Galatians 6:1 says, "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently...". Verse two goes on to say, "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." The goal of confronting sin in another is restoration, not fault-finding or  belittling another. And, it is not to be used as an excuse to go after another about things that are considered "gray areas" in the Bible that you and they disagree over (ie, what is ok to eat, whether we need to go to church on Wednesday evening). What we're talking about is clear wrong doing as is denounced in Scripture--from fornication to lying to adultery to stealing, etc..  So how does one approach their brother/sister?

In the spirit of restoring another to their walk with Christ and getting them away from their sinful behavior, one must show love and compassion.  It is not to become a heated argument or unfriendly debate.  If it helps, keep in mind that you will not be the first, or the last person, who will need to help a fallen brother/sister.  And, you, yourself may need someone to approach you if you ever stray into sin. 

 The Apostle Paul was considered by many as being a great restorer in that he wrote many letters to clear up problems in the churches that he started.  Jesus often told those who would listen, even his disciples, about the need to repent of their sin.  And many listened and repented. James 5:20 tells us that "Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins."  

I believe Jesus' manner of approaching the sinner was very careful.  I believe He approached a person who was caught up in sin in a very caring, compassionate manner, while gently rebuking them for their behavior.  A rebuke does not need to be harsh or critical.  Rebuking someone simply means that you are informing them that they need to correct or change their behavior.  Your desire is to bring them back into fellowship with Christ and to restore his/her effectiveness for the Kingdom.

Unfortunately, in this day we are very leery of approaching one another when we feel our brother/sister is involved in something that is not right.  Some that we try to approach will use Scripture to justify their behavior and tell us that we have no right to judge them.  The most common one was mentioned in the last chapter, which is Matthew 7:4-5 which says, "How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." This Scripture is also telling us that before we can judge another we must make sure we do not have  sin in our own lives that is unconfessed, for if we do, we should not judge another. Before we do, we need to make sure that we have a clear conscience and have repented of our own sins before God. Then we can go to another and try to restore them to fellowship with Christ. And most importantly, make sure that you, yourself, do not confront someone about a sin when you have the same problem as you may get caught up in the temptation to sin yourself. If you have that same issue, another needs to go in your place.

Second Timothy 2:24 reminds us that we  need to make sure that we approach the person with the right attitude.  It says, "And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach and not resentful". Our job is simply to help our brother/sister realize their need to repent in the hope that they will come to their senses, and escape the trap of the devil who has deluded them, so that they will return as followers of Christ.

Jesus gave instructions on how to bring about restoration when you feel you have been sinned against.  Matthew 18:15-17 says, "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.  If he listens to you, you have won your brother over." Note that it is to be done in private and with compassion. Do not be afraid to pour out your heart about your concerns and cares for him/her. Often it is our fervency, our caring,  and our pleading that restores our brother/sister because they see that we care and that we are not there to judge them. Go in a spirit of humility, knowing that it is only by the grace of God that you do not struggle with the same issue.

But what do you do if he/she will not listen or has no desire to repent?  That is where Jesus set out a different process. Matthew 18:16,17 tells us that we are to take a second and maybe a third, impartial observer along with us as we speak to the person a second time. The observers are not to take sides, but are there to hear what is presented by both you and the one you are trying to restore. Then, if the sinning person still will not listen, you are to take it to the church body in the hopes that as a group you can help restore the person.  If the person continues to refuse to change their behavior, then the church is to look upon that person as an unbeliever.  This does not mean that we become mean or hateful, it simply means that we do not recognize that person as a disciple or follower of Christ any longer and treat him/her as any other unbeliever.  He/she loses the privileges that go along with being a believer, such as being able to take communion, holding a position of leadership or retaining church membership.  He/she is still allowed to attend church services if they so desire.

Unfortunately, Second Timothy 3: 1-5 warns us that despite our trying to warn the person, the person may choose to continue to live the way they are.  We are not to take this as a sign that we have failed, but rather they have chosen to continue to disobey God. We need to continue to pray and fast for our brother/sister in Christ in the hope that the Holy Spirit will eventually draw them back to a right relationship with God.